First of all, click on this youtube link and let it play in the background while you are reading the blog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S_gLohI4XE

Why listen to this, you ask?  Well, I've come to realize that in CharTown, it's essential to stay positive and always think happy thoughts.  And let's face it, "We Are The Champions" sung by the fabulous queen of Queen, Freddy Mercury, always raises one's spirits.....except for the time that it came on the radio after my last class ever at PC.  Needless to say, I cried the entire car ride back to my apartment.
The point is, I had a great thing happen to me today and my place of employment.  An accomplishment if you will.  And I was watching the last 15 minutes of COPS on the Fox network, I began to think of all of the accomplishments in my life.  Naturally, I had to blog about it.  The list will go in chronological order and will end with my accomplishment of today.  The list is as follows:


3 years old:  My family captured the most perfect Christmas picture ever.  Kelley was grinning from ear to ear, hand on hip, sitting on Santa's lap.  However, the camera was at the widest angle lens possible because I was approximately 3 feet away from both of them....crying.  Thus, I created the most classic and perfect Christmas picture ever taken.  If I ever find it, it will absolutely be posted to the blog.

5 years old:  I won the "Showstopper Award"  for the Laurens County Community Theater's production of Anne of Green Gables.  This award was given by Ami Vaughn and was literally a bathtub stopper that was put on a string.  It was awesome.  And why did I win this award?  Because of my incredible talent of reciting my two lines:  "Diana's druuuuuunk" and "Anne, you have cuffs!".  I also thought I was the coolest person in the play because I got to wear an apron with ruffles (Yeaaaaah Sallie Anna, take that!)

5 1/2 years old:  I had the most successful Power Ranger themed birthday party that ever happened to Clinton.  So what if it was at the former Burger King (also known as Murder King).  I had a yellow Trini ranger birthday cake.  And a yellow Trini ranger t-shirt.  It was good.  And may the actress who formerly played Trini rest in peace.

6 years old:  I broke my arm for the first time.  Now, you may say "How is that an accomplishment, weirdo?" Well I'll tell you why when I get to 9 years old.  Don't worry.

8 years old:  I got my second bowl cut.  Yes, I say second because Kim (my mother) made Kelley and I have bowl cuts around the age of 3 (right around the time when the Christmas picture was taken).  However, this time I made the decision on my own to get the bowl cut.  Now, some people may not consider this
an accomplishment, but I definitely do.  It's always a conversation starter.  It provides good entertainment while watching home videos.  And let's face it, I was a fox.  A fox with a bowl cut and braces with yellow bands.

9 years old:  YMCA Basketball.  Championship game.  The Clinton All Star Team vs. Whitmire.  These girls were HUGE.  I mean, they were mammoths.  Seriously.  And one of them always wore bandaids over her ears.  I never understood it.  One minute left in the game. We were up by 2.  Bandaids had rebounded the ball and was taking it down the court.  I was the closest one to her, so it was my opportunity to guard her.  I turned around and was running backwards.  Suddenly, I trip over the feet, not of Bandaids, but my feet.  As I was falling, I grabbed her arm and tried to take her down with me.  This time, I landed on my arms and broke BOTH arms.  But, the balding ref called a foul on me.  And as I sat on the sideline crying and watching Bandaids shoot her foul shot, I hit the bleachers and screamed louder than any of the protective mothers who tended to scream obscenities from the stands.  Bandaids shoots.  AND SHE MISSES. THANK GOD! SHE MISSES.  One more shot.  Bandaids shoots.  AND SHE MISSES AGAIN.  Thus, we won the championship game...I broke BOTH arms (which was semi cool to have 2 casts).....and we got trophies (eventhough I found out this year that our parents paid for our trophies every year.  Whatever.)

Ages 10-14, nothing really happened.  I was pretty awkward.  I tried wearing pink and carrying a purse.  That didn't work.

Age 15:  I was accepted into the Governor's School summer Academy program for drama.  This was a miracle.  I mean a MIRACLE.  Why?  Because they asked us to do a 30 second monologue and 16 bars of a song.  I did at 3 minute monologue (because it was the only monologue I knew) and tried to sing an entire song from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Don't worry.  I was eventually cut off.  But they did accept me.  Maybe they were high.

Age 16:  I got through the "Drug Bug" situation and lived to tell about it.  Don't know that story?  Ask me.  Maybe that can be another blog.

Age 17:  I got through singing "For Good" at my high school graduation without crying.  It's probably because I was trying my damndest to pull Victor together, who was trying to sing while sobbing and getting snot on my shoulder.  It was a hot mess.  Period. And then I looked up to get a little support from the audience and, oh I don't know, my family, and they were as hot of a mess as Victor.  I mean, Jesus.  What do I have to do to get a little emotional stability at a graduation? The accomplishment was that we simply got through it.

Age 18-21:  I lived through PC.

AAAAAAAAND the moment we have all been waiting for.

Age 22:  I have officially been out of training at Talbots for three days.  My feet are throbbing, my hair is frizzy, and the store has been slow all week.  My sales goals had not quite been met because the crowds were not coming in.  UNTIL an angel walked into those red front doors.  She was wearing black Jackie O sunglasses and looked like she had gone through about seven facelifts and years of lying in a tanning bed at the spa next door.  And as she walked in, I jumped on it like white on rice.  45 minutes later, THIS GIRL had a......$1200 SALE!  That's right!!!! I'm sure this may be a violation of privacy, but I don't even care.  I didn't even know what $1200 worth of clothing looked like....until today.  2 cashmere sweaters, 2 pencil skirts, 3 blouses, 2 dresses, and a pair of kitten heels and yours truly is the new Goddess of Talbots.  UHHHH! TAKE THAT NORDSTROM! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT HIRING YA HOMEGIRL!

I'm happy.  And I'm real proud. And for now, at least I don't look like this dude.


Love,
Taylor